Read with caution as we interview 2 very vulnerable mummas, both adapting to life with newborns
and toddlers at home. Be warned you are likely to feel some big feelings when reading this.
We thank them for being so raw with us.
- What’s one word to describe the adjustment to life with a newborn and toddler?
Mumma 1- “Unbelievable”
Mumma 2- “BUSY”- Especially as a breastfeeding mum. I feel like I am constantly feeding in-
between everything else. A lot of my time is also taken up by our older two kids. We are a
family of 6. I am finding it hard to get a single moment to myself or to do simple things, like
find time to have a bath or wash my hair.
- What has been the hardest part?
Mumma 1- “Managing my own reactions to my toddler’s behaviours, especially if I am
feeding my newborn and I am not able to act or be instantly hands on. And they have both
been unwell at the same time.”
Mumma 2- “Being on my own with both baby boys, juggling what both boys need. I have
been following the toddler’s routine and baby wearing. Normally, I would set the baby down
in the bassinet but then sometimes I have to spend time trying to get the baby to sleep which
means the toddler is missing out on the interactions, and having really loud tantrums, which
means every time the baby falls asleep, the toddler woke him up.
- What has been the best part so far?
Mumma 1- “I think So far, the best part has been watching my toddler show such a caring
nature to my newborn, from demanding daily cuddles to the kisses and pats on the head, to
going and getting nappy and wipes. He is such a proud big brother and that just melts my
heart, and of course the newborn cuddles.”Mumma 2- “Watching the interactions and to see the love grow. It has gone from hostile to sweet interactions and the toddler wanting to mimic my actions with the baby, like patting his back and helping change nappies.”
- What is your advice for someone about to go through this transition?
Mumma 1- “Look at your mindset…Remember that these moments won’t last forever and
take each day minute by minute. Try your hardest to make a negative situation a positive.
Prep dinner when your toddler is napping and try and plan an activity each morning for your
toddler before nap time. I also try and feed my newborn about a half hour before my toddler
wakes in the morning and from his lunch nap. That way the newborn is calm or asleep and
my toddler has my undivided attention for cuddles when he wakes up. And that has been
working so well for us.”
Mumma 2- “telling yourself do whatever it takes to get through the day, whether its extra
snacks and tv time to get some quiet time out of your toddler or help calm them during a
tantrum. And to remind yourself that tomorrow is a new day, and it can be better.”
- What does support look like?
Mumma 1- “Support to me looks like the physical help, I have received so far from my family.
My mother-in-law with my toddler. It has also been the mental and emotional support
received from my family and friends (my sister, sister-in-law, and mothers’ group) who have
reached out to check in and see if there’s anything I need, along with offering an ear whilst I
vent about something that’s going on.”
Mumma 2- “If you have family around, that’s a bonus so utilise them as much as possible to
get a much-needed break. If you have no family around, it’s important to have people you
can communicate honestly with, whether it’s sharing the good moments or the tough ones.
It’s great if you have a mother’s group to bounce off.
Thank you for opening up to us and for your honesty Mummas, A real insight into the good and bad, highs
and lows of the parenting juggle of a new baby and a toddler!
If you are currently in this position, know you are not alone, this transition can be a wild ride! If you want a supportive village and insight into your toddlers behaviours and feelings as they adust then check out our ‘Helping your Toddler Adjust to the New Baby’ workshop for more support, or sign up to our membership. Members get free access to all our courses!